The Top 13 Signs You Should Have Bought Flood Insurance


13> That 25-pound carp in your boxer shorts.

12> You get in a shoving match for the couch with your tropical 
    fish.

11> You can't decide what's chaffing you more - your wet underwear 
    or that damned Willard Scott and his friggin' weather map.

10> Those "Amazing Growing Dinosaurs! (Just Add Water!)" of your 
    kid's have reached 30 feet in height and are still growing.

 9> Kevin Costner spotted scouting locations nearby.

 8> The electric shock from your vibrator wasn't quite as erotic 
    as you thought it would be.

 7> That noise downstairs?  Your Barcalounger bumping against the 
    ceiling.

 6> Your goldfish now gets his own food from the pantry.

 5> That neighbor with the new boat wants to know if you happen 
    to have a spare mated pair of lemurs.

 4> Screw the spa -- you've got a soothing mud bath in the family 
    room.

 3> Tidy Bowl Man gets a travelling jones and sets sail down the 
    hallway.

 2> Your toaster suddenly has a rinse cycle.


 and the Number 1 Sign You Should Have Bought Flood Insurance...


 1> As manager of the Mustang Ranch, you now insist that your 
    clients wear *both* kinds of raincoats.